Breast Cancer, My Next Mission in Life: Don’t Mess with Your Health!
Susie Angel
CTD Staff
July 18, 2016
CTD staffer Susie Angel was diagnosed with breast cancer early in 2016. Breast Cancer, My Next Mission in Life is a blog series that documents her experience as a cancer patient with a significant disability.
Last June, my doctor told me we needed to talk about some women issues now that I am getting up there in age. I made an appointment for the beginning of August. At the end of July, I had one of my episodes of vertigo- which I have been having at least once per year for the last decade or so- and landed in the hospital for six days because I couldn’t even sit up without the room spinning. I missed my appointment and never rescheduled because other things that seemed more important kept popping up.
For the last couple years, I had been getting quick, sharp pains in my right breast. I never gave it a second thought because my CP causes me to have frequent, random nerve pains in different parts of my body. This past December, though, the pains started coming more frequently. I finally got worried and decided to reschedule that wellness exam after the holidays. Procrastinator that I am, I didn’t actually get around to making it until the end of January, which meant that I couldn’t get in until mid February.
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Two days before the appointment, I was taking a shower when my attendant, Renee, noticed that my breast was red and very enlarged. She started feeling it with the backside of her hand like when doing a self breast exam. It was hard on the front and there was a lump on the side. Trying to stay positive, we thought it could be an infection, but didn’t know if I should wait until my appointment or just go to the ER. I called a couple friends from church, asking them to come over, but all anyone could do on short notice was pray with me for peace, comfort, and the wisdom to know what to do. Finally, my mom was able to come over and help me decide what to do. When she arrived, we all- including Juan, my roommate and best friend- decided that it needed immediate attention. Juan took me to the ER, and we promised Mom and Renee that we’d call them when we found out anything.
The ER doctor agreed with Renee and I that it was just an infection, since the breast was hot and red, but she did an ultrasound just to be sure. Without telling me the results, she had me admitted overnight so they could run some more tests in the morning. By 10:00 pm, we were still waiting, so Juan decided to go home and wait to call Mom and Renee. By 10:45pm, I was in a room, and the nurse helped me call Juan.
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That night, before drifting off to sleep, the following thoughts kept running through my head:
I want to keep believing that this is just an infection and everything will be fine after they give me antibiotics, but every fiber of my being is telling me that it’s something more serious. I don’t believe that they are just taking precautionary measures because if that’s all it was, they would have sent me home and told me to follow up with my doctor for further testing. God, is this what I get for not paying attention to those pains that I was having and not doing anything about them? If so, I’m sorry.
The next three days- waiting for a diagnosis- were some of the longest that Juan and I ever had! And considering that we’ve been through many tough and/ or scary things in our lives, that’s saying a lot.
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About Susie
Susie finished chemotherapy on June 21 and will begin the next phase of her treatment later this summer. She is doing spectacularly.
Susie has an Associate's Degree in Communications from Austin Community College and a Bachelor's in Magazine Journalism from the University of Texas at Austin. She joined CTD as a VISTA in 2010 and joined the staff as a part-time employee in 2012. She edits and writes for the monthly e-newsletter, co-coordinates Pen 2 Paper, and heads up CTD's research department. Read Susie's full bio.
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