Breast Cancer, My Next Mission In Life: A Lesson Within
Susie Angel
CTD Staff
June 22, 2016
CTD staffer Susie Angel was diagnosed with breast cancer early in 2016. Breast Cancer, My Next Mission in Life is a blog series that documents her experience as a cancer patient with a significant disability.
Since a couple days after getting my Breast Cancer Diagnosis in February, I’ve wanted to start writing a blog about my whole journey-- from dealing with chemo to having a double mastectomy to finally ending with 4-6 weeks daily of radiation. I think my story is quite unique, since I also was born with what doctors label “severe Cerebral Palsy (CP)”.
Now, I’m not saying that breast cancer doesn’t happen to people with CP- or any other disability- but people with disabilities and cancer seem to not want to publicly talk about those experiences. Plus, there hasn’t been much talk about the medical field doing studies on people with disabilities and cancer. I hope to change that and at least get people with disabilities and cancer supporting each other because cancer does not discriminate, and having a disability doesn’t exclude anyone from getting any illnesses. While people with disabilities and cancer face many of the same issues as non-disabled people with cancer, there can be several other challenges on top of those, and all of it together is quite overwhelming.
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I had every intention of starting this blog right away and writing it as if it were a journal, but for some reason, something kept stopping me. It’s not as if I didn’t have plenty to say. At first, I thought I had so much to say that the thought of having to write it down was too much-- I didn't know where to start, and I thought typing it with my nose would take forever.". Ideas would come to me at times when I physically couldn’t write. I tried to remember them until I got to a computer, but by then, they were gone. Some people suggested making an audio recording of my feelings so I would have something to refer back to later, but that kind of thing never worked for me.
Finally, on May 22nd, I had a major breakthrough. I had been censoring myself. Everything I heard on my favorite Christian radio station and at church that morning reminded that I cannot cut God out of any part of my life because that would be denying who I am and ignoring my mission in life. That was my problem with this blog. I was trying to limit how much I talked about God because I want everyone from all walks of life, including non-believers, to read it. But if I leave God out of it, the story won’t be complete. During praise & worship (singing to God) and communion that morning, as a big release, I started crying uncontrollably because I realized that everything I am and everything I go through in this life has to do with God’s plan for me. I immediately apologized to God and asked for His forgiveness. Then, once I admitted it to myself and openly said it to a friend after church, the ideas came flooding in my head and the writing began!
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About Susie
Susie finished chemotherapy on June 21 and will begin the next phase of her treatment later this summer. She is doing spectacularly.
Susie has an Associate's Degree in Communications from Austin Community College and a Bachelor's in Magazine Journalism from the University of Texas at Austin. She joined CTD as a VISTA in 2010 and joined the staff as a part-time employee in 2012. She edits and writes for the monthly e-newsletter, co-coordinates Pen 2 Paper, and heads up CTD's research department. Read Susie's full bio.
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